WEIGHTY ISSUES


2015-01-26
Debilitating Self Labels


“The important thing is this:  To be able at any moment to sacrifice that which we are for what we could become”.  ~Charles DuBois

A week ago our team was challenged to learn Line Dancing for a company event. My first reaction was: “No ways!” I’m uncoordinated and will make a fool of myself!”

Too often we label ourselves with labels which keep us from living meaningful, exiting, full lives. “Saying “I’m uncoordinated” when faced with learning something which may be potentially fun, meant there was nothing I could do to change the situation. 

According to Dr. Wayne W. Dryer, writer of Your Erroneous Zones, “You could be negating yourself by identifying with your trademarks rather than your potential for growth.” According to him, the following four sentences are often used in self defeating behaviour: “That’s me”, “I’ve always been that way”, “I can’t help it” and “That’s my nature”. We all use these phrases from time to time and they form part of a feedback loop that becomes a vicious circle of self fulfilling prophecies which serves to confirm what we believe. So if you try and you fail, your failure serves to strengthen your label and make it even less likely that you will try again.

When saying: “I am not good at something”, or “I am undisciplined”, or “I am an emotional eater or moody person or short tempered” for example, I give myself permission to behave in a certain way and a reason why things will never be different. Some labels are acquired during childhood through our interaction with caregivers and others, while some are the result of choices we made (unconsciously)  to help us avoid certain challenges or responsibilities. If you accept negative labels they allow you to stay in your (often uncomfortable) comfort zone. The cost of negative labels is that they can stop you from reaching desired goals, and from learning and developing your full potential.

You can choose to change limiting labels.

Dr. Dryer challenges his readers to change by changing:

 “that’s me”... into ...“that was me”.

“I can’t help it”....to....”I can change it if I work on it”.

“I’ve always been that way”....to ....”I am going to be different”.

“That’s my nature”... to.....“That’s what I used to believe was my nature”.

Rather than allowing a negative label to stop me from having fun this is how I changed my thinking: “I have believed that I am uncoordinated but that is not true. I just need a bit more time to learn the steps. “If I practice those steps by myself and do them over and over, I will be able to learn the dance. My belief about being uncoordinated has stopped me from trying line dancing, but this time I am going to be different. I am going to be brave and bold and I am going to learn how to do this dance! Even if I don’t dance with the team, I can still learn this dance in my own time.

What labels are keeping you from reaching a healthy weight, getting fit, trying something new, learning or just having a fun filled meaningful life? What would happen if you decide to change your trademarks and your script? Be warned....It may change your life.

Read this link about someone who has changed his self labels with amazing results.

Ex-paratrooper's Amazing Transformation is Inspiring …: http://youtu.be/KbVpCc_r9Sw

 

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